I recently finished reading Almost Anorexic by Dr. Jennifer Thomas and Jenni Schaefer. In the last chapter it discusses having "a dream big enough to beat Ed"(pg 266) to fill the space in your identity that was falsely taken up by your eating disorder. It asks and dares you to ask yourself in this phase of your recovery, what are your dreams and are they big enough to overcome your Ed and to the point at which you are no longer in a space of "almost anorexic" but free from eating disorder behaviors, thoughts, actions, etc---in true recovery.
Ever since I have entered this current phase in my recovery, I have discovered so many possibilities, dreams, and the love of life that I had lost. I dream now more than ever and I truly believe in these and believe that these dreams can happen. Before it was more like a fantasy that would never come true. Something may or may not have come along, but it would have never happened and even if it did, it meant nearly nothing. Now, there is so much to hope and dream for and actually achieve and feel.
So, for my, as one of Jenny's patient's put it, "Recovery Bucket List", I write the following:
Kristin's Recovery Bucket List
What if you made your own bucket list? What would you put on it? Getting married? Kids? Traveling? Go crazy! And dream BIG!
- Write, blog, craft, collage, and be the most creative person I can be
- Meet a guy, get married, and have kids (and live happily-ever-after)
- Be a Seattle sports super fan with season tickets to both Sounders and Seahawks
- Whatever I do, do it with my heart and be fulfilled
- Go to Graduate school and do it again and again (and again?)
- Have my own apartment/condo/house without financial or parental help
- Sign up for dance classes, training to run a 5k, and slowly start up soccer again while ensuring I am being healthy
- Laugh, smile, and find the positive in everything
- Own a wicked-awesome car because I earned it
- Travel, especially back to Japan and eat at Jiro's sushi restaurant and to Dublin to see distant family
- Go abroad and see an International football game featuring the Azzurri (hopefully in the World Cup) or Manchester United
- Visit all the historical sites I possibly can before I die across the US and Canada
- Climb Mt. Rainier and spend the night at Camp Muir
- Visit the bus where Christopher McCandless slept
- Visit the Walden cabin and Henry David Thoreau's grave
- Visit historical Mozart landmarks
- To be continued....
Speaking of dreams, if you are brave enough to share your big dream/inspiration for recovery, then I would encourage you to click here. Jenni Schaefer wants to hear your stories and dreams! You just might have your dream and story shared! Go and check it out! :)